Johnny Depp Needs Acting Lessons -or- Hiding Your Influence is the Sincerest Form of Flattery

While watching Steve Martin and Martin Short’s film “3 Amigos” recently, I realized that Johnny Depp’s characterization of Jack Sparrow was not quite as original as we thought. And no, I did not forget Chevy Chase. That guy is only considered funny because of his exceptional height and his ability to effectively portray a moron.

Exhibit A: Notice the sweet pirate shoes.
pirate shoes

Exhibit B: I have outlined here three specific similarities. Each is color coded. Red signifies pointless hair danglies, blue represents equally pointless hair braiding and green represents a love of red head bandannas. I considered pointing out the beard similarities, but then decided that I wouldn’t, even though I just did.
braid, hair thingy, bandanna

Exhibit C: Confusing waist scarf. Is it serving as a belt?

Exhibit D: The final exhibit is a love of alcohol. On the left we have Jack Sparrow looking forlorn over a lack of alcohol, and on the right we have Mexican Jack Sparrow looking pleased because of an abundance of alcohol.

Undeniable proof that Johnny Depp is a hack.  What other characters has Depp stolen from classic Martin Short films?  Perhaps a wedding planner with a thick accent?  Or a lonely man with a miniature Dennis Quaid inside of him?  I propose that all reading this boycott all future Johnny Depp film releases.  I burden you readers with this responsibility because I still plan on going to see Johnny Depp’s films, becasue that dude is fucking awesome.


About Kyle Hilliard
I used to be a freelancer. Now I write for Game Informer magazine. Someday, when the time is right, I will grow a mustache.

3 Responses to Johnny Depp Needs Acting Lessons -or- Hiding Your Influence is the Sincerest Form of Flattery

  1. waka says:

    None of those ideas are original and many movies have used them although none of them thought of them. An actor does not choose his props or clothing. He may be listened to if he has a suggestion but most of this stuff is all decided by various people working the film. What do you think the hundreds of people who work on the film do?

    The man can act so I think he does his part well.

  2. LardComposite says:

    Waka is right, Depp didn’t choose the wardrobe, the costume designer does such things. Depp chose the persona, which none of us can dispute is original for a character onscreen. I think this post is just nitpicking.

  3. NoOneSpecial says:

    so generic pirate attire is now something original from someone else? also are you serious with the alcohol part? its one of the most cliche things about pirates…

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